Within the past year, God sovereignly placed me in the house of a couple that actually had an ANR. The wife had no problem confessing this to a guest and I couldn’t help overhearing. They hail from a part of the world where ANRs are a little more popular and Christianity a lot less so.
Notwithstanding this most intimate, bonding, loving aspect of their marriage relationship, they fought all the time. The husband was condescending and dismissive while the wife had a self-righteous victim mentality. Interestingly, I witnessed all this at a time when I was heavily idolizing ANRs. It was no mere coincidence that of all rare acts in which a couple could engage together, and of all seasons in my life, I happened to move in with a couple that had an ANR at a time when I was more devoted to it than to my Savior. I know their marriage had been through even worse times, and the only reason they had even an ounce of stability was probably their ANR, but those who truly understand what Christ had to do to secure His bride realize that an ounce of a marriage is no marriage at all.
In spite of ABF being four out of the five love languages combined into one loving act, it’s far from the marriage panacea I elevated it to be. Placing one’s trust in ABF neglects the fact that Christ’s sacrifice is the ultimate blend of the love languages. God certainly used that experience to get my attention.
So, in a blog dedicated to extolling and promoting ANRs, I have to insert a word of caution to all, including myself, as I sometimes worship and serve the creat[ion] rather than the Creator (Romans 1:25).
May God be with us all.
Compare The woeful inadequacy of ANR
Christ-centered ANR 