Lessons from Ashley Madison: the uniqueness of ABF

The recent Ashley Madison leak has revealed some telling data. 99.95% of the site’s users are male. How does this compare to other matchmaking sites? On those tailored towards mainstream sexual activity, about 75 to 80% of users are male. In comparison, only 68% of heterosexual accounts on ANRSpace belong to men, but I strongly believe the actual ratio of people desiring an ANR is even more balanced between the sexes.

Here’s why I hold that view: despite only 0.05% of Ashley Madison customers being female, I learned that 41% of marital infidelity is perpetrated by women. So the real issue isn’t a paucity of women who cheat or want an ANR, it’s twofold: 1. Women are more secretive, so when desirous of anything sexual or extramarital, they generally won’t resort to the World Wide Web to find an outlet, and 2. Women have a much easier time finding sexual partners.

The main reason I strongly suspect a 50-50 ratio for Adult Nursing Relationships is their unique nature.

Many ANR women have much girl next door charm. Some are even involved in church.
Ladies don’t view Couples Nursing as an exclusively sexual activity. To them, it’s a beautiful, loving, bonding act. On ANR blogs and dating sites, most mention the intimacy it creates before the sexual aspect.

God has designed women to be very society-friendly. A good litmus test of the social conduciveness of anything is to examine its male-female ratio. The more equal, the better.

It’s worth noting that the more lewd ANR dating sites have significantly fewer female users than ANRSpace, so if the clean, gospel-centered ANR dating site I envision were to come to fruition, I bet its male-female ratio would be an even 50-50.

There’s absolutely no activity I think men and women could agree on more than ABF. Women realize that it elevates intimacy to never-before-seen heights, and that’s what primarily draws them to it. The inherent sexual pleasure plays an important but slightly less significant role. For men, it’s both the extreme intimacy and a sexual attraction to breasts. Men approach ABF from a sexual and relational standpoint, women from a nurturing/bonding, before sexual one, so they essentially meet halfway. Husband Nursing lies at the confluence of our God-given, sex-specific hard wiring.

CN creates a win-win situation for both spouses. That’s why a healthy amount of it is only beneficial, never detrimental to marriage, also why every couple that partakes in it loves it and why a significantly higher proportion of women are interested, compared to other activities that are reserved for the bedroom. Indeed, of the dozens of ANR blogs out there, mine is the only one I know that is owned by a man.

One of the ladies who said no to an ANR had confessed to having a high sex drive. She told me she found it interesting and peculiar that I insist on any one particular sex act in marriage. However, if one reads all the posts on this blog thoroughly and with an open mind, it quickly becomes obvious that an ANR is no mere sex act. It’s a way of life. It’s a spiritual mindset that elevates couples to unimaginable heights of intimacy, and is 100% biblical.

The mission and premise behind sites like Ashley Madison is antithetical to those of Christian ANR sites. Some sites are out to destroy the institution of marriage, others aim to strengthen it to the glory of Christ.

Therefore, ANRs have a lot more female fans than Ashley Madison.

November 2015 update: among search phrases leading to this blog are “how to start ANR with husband” and “how to convince husband about ANR”. I’m yet to see a single one about convincing wives about ANRs. This reinforces the belief that women are equally interested in ANRs, they’re just less likely to advertise their desires on dating sites or anywhere online for that matter.

December 30, 2016 update: today marks the first day I’ve officially seen a search query leading to this blog that’s about starting an ANR with one’s wife – over a year after noticing a pattern of women researching how to start ANRs with their husbands, although earlier this year, there were two queries for “husband wants anr” that went unnoticed.

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