Should sex be one of our criteria for selecting a partner?

Preamble: the most important thing to look for in a potential spouse is an authentic testimony of salvation through Jesus Christ.


Seeing as God is very pro-sex, I think the Biblical mandate is to seek a believer to whom you feel some sexual attraction, then strive for purity until marriage.

Similarly, if you’re an affectionate person, seek a Christian who’s also affectionate, and keep the affection to a minimum until the wedding.

Last but not least, if you desire an ANR, seek another Christian who shares the same interest, then don’t even discuss it before wedding rings are exchanged.

The key is to aim – with equal fervor – for both purity and future mutual satisfaction. The best marriages are those that are focused on mutual sacrificial service because God died for His bride.

“If you’re very affectionate but marry someone who is far from it, you’d be unfulfilled.”

– a pastor’s wife, while conversing with her and her husband about reasonably balancing desires for a believing spouse with one who speaks the same love/intimacy language as we do

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s