Email I recently received:

“I have  met two Christian men on ANR dating sites and all of them are like myself, in that they were sexually active before they gave their life to Christ. And each of them has the same opinion on nursing vs sex. Each of them believed that nursing can be a permissible act between unwed partners as an alternative to intercourse before marriage. I don’t have an opinion on the subject yet, but I am trying to form one and I’d like the input of someone…I am inclined to agree with them because there is nothing in the scripture prohibiting it  as far as I can tell, though a biblical scholar, I am not. Just wondering if you would be willing to share your opinion and why you feel the way you do.

One of them regularly engages in dry nursing with different women and apparently views this as permissible in the eyes of God, though I disagree with this practice wholeheartedly. I don’t see God being pleased with His children engaging  in this with multiple partners, I think this is self serving and unacceptable. However, I do think a relationship that is monogamous could explore each other in this way and it serve as a way to satisfy some intimacy they crave and make it easier to abstain from sex. Though I have been successful in abstaining for  the last seven years, I find this the most difficult thing to control. I guess I struggle with where to draw the line [with] intimacy and each person had their own definitions, each of them with their own selfish interests in mind. (I think we’re all guilty of that.)”

My response:

“Nursing as a way to prevent pre-marital sex? Well…
You say ‘Though I have been successful in abstaining for  the last seven years, I find this the most difficult thing to control.’ This statement shows that if one engages in an ANR, they’re exposing themselves to temptation. There are many sinful things Scripture doesn’t expressly forbid, masturbation being one. Engaging in an ANR before marriage is another example, because an ANR is something sexual. Ezekiel 23:3, 8 and 21 tell us that breasts also serve a sexual purpose, but human experience also bears witness to their sexual nature apart from Scripture.

Unfortunately, I’ve come across some nursers who deny this but to be very frank, I think they’re suppressing the truth, because nipples are erogenous zones. Some things are just so risky that even if the Bible doesn’t explicitly prohibit them, if you practice them, you place yourself in a danger zone.

“Nancy”, since you’re His child…, God will most likely provide you a godly, loving husband to enjoy this intimacy with. Then you can experience uninhibited ANR joy without worrying about sinning. I’ve come to see God’s infinite wisdom in requiring us to flee from sexual immorality. The passion, joy, selfless service and thrill of marital lovemaking are well worth the wait.

Any kind of nursing with multiple women is a sin as you rightfully point out, whether married to any of them or not. God certainly hates that and doesn’t play around with sexual sin.”

Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well.

Proverbs 5:15

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