I hope you have that conversation before marriage

I just got off the phone with an extremely godly man I’ve been blessed to know, let’s call him Elder T, as I’m sure I’ll refer to him frequently. A biblical counselor with decades of experience and faithfulness to the Lord, he has really been there for me, and is like a spiritual father. The following was part of our conversation:

“Suppose we live in an era when most people view kissing as taboo”, I said, “but I and a small percentage of the population, equally male and female, have always wanted it and see nothing wrong with kissing within marriage. I’ve always thought it’d be beautiful to kiss my wife and wouldn’t want to find out on our wedding night that she’s not one of the rare kissing-friendly minority. That’d be tough, as marriage is a lifetime covenant. One can’t simply back out because your spouse thinks kissing is taboo.”

“I think you will find that out before marriage,” he responded. “I hope you have that conversation [before marriage] with whoever this lady is. I hope you do”, he repeated.

It was re-affirming to hear that a godly man of his caliber also thinks it unwise to not have a conversation before marriage about a deep desire that’s perfectly acceptable, biblically speaking, but widely seen as taboo.

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