I just paid a totally unplanned but divinely-ordained visit to a man-centered church where I met a lady, let’s call her blond J. This young woman and I would likely fit well together, at least in the natural sense. She’s attractive, servant-hearted, traditionally feminine, team-oriented and even showed signs of interest. Perhaps too much interest.

Years ago, when I was still very young and immature in faith, I had my sights set on a sister that roughly fits the same description. During a discipleship/counseling session, I let Elder T in on my little crush. “You’re putting the cart before the horse”, he responded.

I thank God for solid biblical counsel.

The only reason I didn’t pursue blond J is the fact that she made the typical, subtle sexual advances women often make when they really want a guy’s attention. The kind you’d expect at clubs and bars. So much for all the positive traits that initially caught my attention.

I’d rather be single, lonely and clinging to Christ than rush into marriage with a sexually appealing, ANR-willing woman who turns out to be a non-believer. Blond J has her cart way ahead of her horse, and pursuing her would have upset my faith.

On the other side of the spectrum are those who rightly prioritize the horse but insist on the sinfulness of the cart.

These ‘sex is bad and dirty, so pretend it doesn’t exist’ folks might say “during courtship, faith in Christ is all that matters, so shared interests, sexual attraction, and physical beauty are all irrelevant, even sinful.”

I’m elated that some Christians are still out there who take personal holiness seriously without being too legalistic.

“A lot of Christians are unnecessarily ‘beating themselves up’ over being human.”

– Ray Stone

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