Sex isn’t about learning skills or being gratified, but about loving a person. Putting their needs above yours.
I sometimes get anxious and try to micromanage my future sex life. “What if she won’t do this or that?” I often ask myself.
Now I’ve realized that it’s not about me “getting mine” or being focused on my own pleasure. It’s about me putting my needs and desires aside in order to prioritize hers, and serve her like Christ served me on the Cross. And if there’s any nagging desire that might lead to an unhappy marriage, such as unfulfilled ANR longings, I’ll simply talk it out before saying “I do.”