I Kissed Legalism Goodbye

I gave dating a chance
I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes


Be very careful who you allow to shape your soul. Joshua Harris, author of the widely popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye and other well-known Christian manuals on dating and purity, has not only divorced his wife, he has also renounced his faith.

I’m especially shocked because I, along with other godly Christians I know, read his books and trusted his godly insights.

I thank God that in recent years, though, especially since founding this blog in 2014, I’ve come to question these insights and have grown out of the unbiblical asceticism and moralism Harris taught.

Thank you, B.H.C. and K.O.K. churches, along with multiple individual Christians, for being some of God’s instruments of breaking me from my legalism. Most importantly, thank you, Holy Spirit for showing me that it’s okay to celebrate my physical desires and desire an ANR, along with deep, enjoyable sexual intimacy in marriage.

Our problem is we rely on our own efforts to achieve purity and holiness rather than the Spirit, so this results in tragedies like Joshua Harris or my former roommate who likely avoided the Song of Solomon because it made him stumble.

Be extremely cautious who you allow to shepherd your heart. Resist legalism and moralism. Discard anything that doesn’t align with God’s word, including his mandate that we have great sex in marriage.

Further Reading:

‘Pray…for a Redemptive End’: Josh Harris’ Former Church Responds to Him Falling Away From Faith

Author of Christian relationship guide says he has lost his faith

When Purity Becomes an Idol

I think the problem with the Boomers wasn’t that they embraced postmodernism, so much as that they were simply self-absorbed. And the reason people like Joshua Harris who follow a Puritanical form of Christianity lose their faith, is that the object of that kind of religion ultimately turns to self. If I am trying to be holier than God even asked me to be, my worship gets directed toward myself. Jesus warned Pharisees against replacing God’s commands with human commands. And Paul tells us to run the race, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. I believe Satan deceives us into making a small shift where we shift our focus to ourselves, practicing right living, and what we come out with is a dead religion that will fail to protect us. When faced with conservative Christian beliefs arguing with progressive Christian beliefs, I can’t help but think that both sides are missing thr point. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance, it is his love that saves us, and if we love him we learn to love his design. We cannot win hearts with arguments and proofs.”

Source: Joshua Harris made the right decision, here’s why

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