Picture your future spouse with another man/woman

Since starting this blog, I’ve realized many of my moralistic and legalistic tendencies, and have previously discussed this realization. To combat this man-centered morality, however, I now sometimes see myself swing a little too much to the other side. Overcompensation is something we all do.

I want to walk the fine line between biblically permitted pleasure and holiness.

The Bible never specifies a line, so how far can we go? Sure, it’s very wise to discuss our need for an ANR with potential spouses, but just how far can we take this discussion without trangressing God’s demand for sexual purity?

A great reality check someone gave me years ago is this: imagine your future wife right this moment engaging in something sexual with another man. Would you like that?

That question brought me right back down to earth. Thanks to this gem of a question, I now firmly stand by my earlier decision that as long as two believers are unmarried, they must never take ANR beyond the verbal.

No need to “see to make sure” or make similar excuses that appease the flesh but are damaging to the soul. Tell your date you want an ANR and leave it at that. Don’t dwell on the erotic nature of the lifestyle or engage in “dirty talk.”


Ephesians 4:29
 – Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

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