Under normal circumstances, lactation is the only uniquely feminine thing a woman can do on a continuous basis, almost all her life, and suffer no ill effects.
Exodus 1:19: the midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.”
1:21: “And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.”
Unfortunately, many young women have been misled into thinking feminine vigour means using men, showing lots of cleavage/skin and putting career before family, whereas God says it’s childbirth, nurturing, breastfeeding and the like.
A few months before starting this blog, when researching ANR traits in women, and a picture of the typical ANR woman begin to take shape in my mind, I noticed many of the ladies that stood out tended to have an exalted, blessed, spiritual and heavenly beauty about them, so my mantra was “aim for divine femininity.” I resolved to aim for a woman who’s truly nurturing, motherly, voluptuous, spiritual, affectionate, feminine, caring and beautiful.
There was something about them I couldn’t quite describe that was a lot more charis than the average woman.
Unfortunately, I’ve heard people say some non-Christians behave more Christian-like than Christians. Couples Nursing-friendly women who aren’t Christian prove this with their love and grace. Which makes a woman that’s Christian and into Couples Nursing an unbeatable combination.
Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
1 Timothy 2:15
Interpretations differ on this verse but from considering parallel passages and well-respected commentators, I believe the verse means women will be sanctified by doing things like child-bearing and rearing. Whenever the Apostle Paul uses the word “saved” he means it in one of three senses: initial repentance and trusting in Christ, progressive sanctification or future glorification. I think in this verse, it means women will be made more like Christ when they raise and nurture children. I believe the Bible teaches that for women, good works consist of things like childbirth, breastfeeding, loving and caring for others.
How are women saved through childbearing? A careful study of 1 Timothy 2:15 by John Piper
A few years ago, someone accused me of seeking to degrade my future wife.
Trying to see things from the ANR critic’s perspective, in this fallen, self-centered, porn-infested world of ours, the conclusion that a man who desires something sexual and unusual from a woman only seeks to use her for his own one-sided enjoyment seems a logical one. If you’re grossed out by the idea of Adult Breastfeeding, you might think men like me immediately salivate each time we’re around women with big boobs.
But this longing does not at all make me view women any less. On the contrary, I’ve only grown in my respect and admiration of women and what their bodies can do. I’ll be quick to admit that I sometimes lust when I see women that closely match the ANR profile but my usual reaction when I see feminine, well-endowed women is reverence. Respect for what they can do with those endowments. Quite frankly, I think it’s powerful. I’m attaining a better understanding of real feminine beauty. That every woman potentially carries life, health and nourishment in her body is astounding and is a fact taken far too often for granted in almost every country in the world.
Every woman has great potential that I estimate 99% sadly never realize. Thanks to all my ANR research, I now view women as a beautiful form of God’s dew that soothes the earth, and love them more for their potential to be sources of great blessing and refreshment to others, in a lot more ways than simply ANR.
There are other feminine qualities to which I’ve become more attuned but won’t have noticed were it not for my research and involvement in the CN community.
“We are convinced that Satan has been behind the taboo of ANR. If more marriages practiced ANR, I think there would be a lot less divorce.”
– Pastor E, How a pastor came to embrace ANR
“When I married my wife, we both were insecure and she did everything she could to try to please me. I didn’t realize how dominating and uncaring I was toward her. My actions in our early marriage caused her to withdraw even more. I wanted her to be self-assured, to hold her head high, and her shoulders back. I wanted her to be feminine and sensual.
The more I wanted her to change, the more withdrawn and insecure she felt. I was causing her to be the opposite of what I wanted her to be. I began to realize the demands I was putting on her, not so much by words but by body language.
The change came about in a very interesting way. During a trip to Atlanta I read an article in Readers Digest. I made a copy of it and have kept it in my heart and mind ever since.
It was the story of Johnny Lingo, a man who lived in the South Pacific. The islanders all spoke highly of this man, but when it came time for him to find a wife the people shook their heads in disbelief. In order to obtain a wife you paid for her by giving her father cows. Four to six cows was considered a high price. But the woman Johnny Lingo chose was plain, skinny and walked with her shoulders hunched and her head down. She was very hesitant and shy. What surprised everyone was Johnny’s offer — he gave eight cows for her! Everyone chuckled about it, since they believed his father-in-law put one over him.
Several months after the wedding, a visitor from the US came to the islands to trade and heard the story about Johnny Lingo and his eight-cow wife. Upon meeting Johnny and his wife the visitor was totally taken back, since this wasn’t a plain and hesitant woman but one who was beautiful, poised and confident. The visitor asked about the transformation, and Johnny Lingo’s response was very simple. ‘I wanted an eight-cow woman, and when I paid that for her and treated her in that fashion, she began to believe that she was an eight-cow woman. She discovered she was worth more than any other woman in the islands. And what matters most is what a woman thinks about herself.'”
Wright, “8-Cow wife”
My remarks: wonderful article but I like to amend the conclusion. What matters most is not what a woman thinks about herself but what she thinks about God.
“Note to all men seeking this type of intimacy. You control the process more than you realize. Actions speak way louder than words, women are not wowed by your words but by the way you CONSISTENTLY treat them.”
“Yes, a man who desires to nurse will HAVE be gentle, kind, and loving. He will also need to be able to awaken the ‘nurturing instincts’ of the woman he wishes this with. When I was in therapy years ago a psychologist told me that most women react to the behavior of the man they’re with.”
– Ray Stone
Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.
-Ruth 1:16 – 17
There an urban ritual in existence that has young girls cutting their fingers, rubbing the bloody wounds together and declaring each other ‘blood sisters.’
According to Urban Dictionary, blood sisters are “two or more women not related by birth who have sworn loyalty and friendship to each other. This is usually done in a ceremony, known as a blood oath, where the blood from small cut is mixed and [sometimes] drunk. Much more than just a Best Friend, [b]lood Sister is your hetero life mate in a non-homosexual way.
Blood Sisters share anything and everything; they have no secrets from each other. She is number one in your life, despite significant others and family. … she IS your family. A [b]lood Sister is your other half.”
I’ve since discovered that there are blood sisters who for the most part are law-abiding suburbanites next door, while other ceremonies involve more gore and are straight from the occult.
This phenomenon demonstrates that women and girls love bonding. I’m thankful that God wired women’s brains to be more adept at communication and people skills, and to know from experience that the friendship of a female is a gift. Girls are loyal and true. If a woman loves you, there’s almost nothing she won’t do for you.
Women have tons of empathy. Men aren’t as quick to pick up on emotions, especially women’s emotions. Though the commonly held belief that their menstrual periods sync together isn’t supported by any reliable scientific evidence, they’re more affected by each other than men are by fellow testosterone bearers. Ladies place a premium on relationships, which is why breakups hurt them more, as Mariah Carey testifies:
Oh, what I wouldn’t give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)
When you left I lost a part of me
It’s still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
‘Cause we belong together
God created women to better see the big picture. That’s why they have a holistic perspective on sex, rarely extracting it from the comprehensive romance package it comes in. Therefore, it’s exceedingly difficult to find women who are single-mindedly sexually obsessed apart from a relationship. But unlike other bedroom activities, CN involves sharing, caring, bonding and nurturing, four areas in which females naturally excel. Thus, this is the only erotic activity I’m aware of that women single out and sometimes even obsess over. It makes perfect sense that such beautiful, empathetic nurturers would want this unique way of bonding. One woman said “I don’t know where I end and you begin” and another “all her thoughts and secrets flow into him along with her milk”, and I paraphrase yet another “our spirits and souls blend together.”
Humans are made for covenant community. It’s evident when one considers the worldwide prevalence of gangs, organized crime families, hate groups, cults, underground societies, fraternities and sororities, professional organizations, sports teams fan groups/hooligans, nationalistic/patriotic groups, religious sects, and even church denominations. So it’s completely understandable that some young women want to be part of something bigger than themselves.
However, these ‘blood sisters’, young and old, instead ought to realize their connection through the Blood incorruptible. Blood that bears no resemblance to any cultish rituals and can’t be tainted by HIV/STDs, Hepatitis, or critically, sin.
True, the majority of women who passionately desire ANRs are the classic soft, nurturing, feminine type, but don’t close your mind on that mental image, nor confine her to a sedentary lifestyle. I found a few who were athletic. Athleticism, physical strength and soft girliness aren’t mutually exclusive.
Some things are worth repeating.
Hello, readers and followers. After a three-week hiatus, I’m back. Thanks for your patience. I’ve had some important changes happen that have kept me busy these past few weeks, and I’m especially thankful to Kamar for checking up on me via email.
I recently read an article by a woman offering advice to guys in the event they woke up female. Among many interesting tidbits of what to expect should this magical scenario become a reality, the author also instructed her male audience that breasts are fun, delightful, bouncy, life-giving objects, and urged them to enjoy their new set of twins.
This is precisely why I imagine that being braless in the privacy of one’s home would be fun, feminine and empowering, and stated the following in A Biblical defense of ANRs: “Speaking of being comfortable with their femininity, I came across two ANR bloggers that although well-endowed, hate wearing bras and only wear them when in public. I pondered that for a little while and eventually came to the conclusion that it’s a praiseworthy lifestyle choice.”
The author also advised men to get used to having curves, softness in places they once had coarseness and much less hair. She exhorted them to appreciate and revel in their new bodies.
In my opinion, to be feminine is to be soft, tender and curvaceous.
Women who have this third ANR characteristic enjoy giving of themselves to others. They’re excellent homemakers and great caretakers. They love to cook and bake, in fact many call themselves foodies. Dining was the number three interest on the previously mentioned ANR dating site, almost tied for second place, so look for that traditional, classic woman that’s brimming with inner beauty. Actively look for signs that she’s a mama bear nurturer, a comforter and/or an encourager. If those don’t describe her at all, politely move on.
ANR folks are great family men and women. If I may say so, people tend to see me as a gentleman who’ll one day make a good husband and father. Strong families are built on strong marriages (which are built on Christ, the ultimate nurturer). The closer you are to your spouse and the more heavily you invest in him or her, the more you set your family up for success. No wonder ANR-interested men and women make the best parents.