It’s too easy to be blindsided. ANR is incredibly beautiful but don’t let it become an idol. Trust me, if you let it, it can quickly become an overpowering, insidious and cruel master.
It can save your marriage but not your soul. Always keep things in perspective.
Repent of idolatry and keep your desires in check.
Put Christ first.
This was translated from a Slavic language, so pardon the sometimes incoherent phrasing. I also found that a majority of Eastern European women online seem to be turned off by the idea of HBF, so I don’t think Eastern Europeans are any more into it than Westerners.
“I’m Veronika, … third baby.
I have 2 girls, 18 and 5,5 months old. Older jusem breastfed fully within 9 months, just refused to feed and now in a year and a half breastfeeding her 5 times a day. Younger breastfeed 100%.
After the birth of Veronica, she asked her husband to suck my milk. We have also got used to it and I have been breastfeeding girls and men for 18 months. In addition, on May 1, 2007 I conceived 3 children.
Breastfeeding a husband is a wonderful part of our life. When making love, when … and breastfeeding at the same time achieve severe and multiple orgasms. My husband’s breastfeeding has overwhelmed me with pleasure in breastfeeding, especially when I often breastfeed them both at the same time. In addition, I have extremely exciting breasts since I was 11 years old, when my breast started to bud. But we adhere to one principle:
NEVER mix baby breastfeeding and sex! BABY Breastfeeding Is a Taboo, It is Sacred !!!
I will summarize my experience of 18 months of husband’s breastfeeding:
1, constant milk surplus even during the growth spurt,
2, regular drinking of surpluses, especially in the evening, ensures trouble-free breastfeeding,
3, bring great pleasure to love life,
4, breastfed man is affectionate father and an assistant,
five, breastfeeding allows early return to the marital love leads shortly after giving birth to a reserve release of a man and completely eliminates any hangups and infidelity,
6, leads to strengthening pozence man can ever !!!
7, Strengthens the potency of a man
8, Strengthens the immune system of a partner (under certain circumstances and a partner, but I do not want to write it …)
9, allows a slight fantasy unusual techniques of sex
10, finally our generations were not breastfed as today, so our little men at least … …
10th is a nice birdie
I know from my mother and grandmother that breastfeeding dads is nothing new. Experienced midwives knew about it.
I end with the words: BREASTING (AND DADS) HELLO !!!”
True story. I have a sweet tooth. My blood sugar level has been known to spike in the past.
Women’s bodies produce sugar. Real sugar. What a shame many women never get to realize their maximum inherent sweetness, both figuratively and literally.
I think I’ll have to invest in a blood glucose meter when I get married, because I’ll definitely be drinking gallons of milk and honey. I mean real pomegranate juice.
If you struggle with intrusive mental images of ANRs, then “think often that Christ suffered agony for your purity. Fight image with image. Christ crying in agony.”
Christ gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.
1 Peter 1:18; 2:24
You were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, [but with the precious blood of Christ]. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.
1 Corinthians 5:15
He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?
From Strategies for Fighting Sexual Sin by John Piper
“Hind of love and ibex of grace, nipples of her they shall satiate you in every of season. In love of her you shall err continually.”
Number 1: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Number 2: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Number 3: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Number 4: I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Number 5: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
Number 6: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Number 7: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Number 8: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Number 9: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, 2 since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. 3 And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.
Christian, would you be content never tasting the blessing that an ANR is?
If these first century Christians were content having their lives stolen from them so violently, then you should be able to endure the pain of being ANR-less for the rest of your life. The same Spirit that empowered these early believers also lives in you.
Put Christ first always. His greatness surpasses your strongest physical desires.
If God could speak the Universe into existence, create planets and stars billions of times the size of our own, send His only begotten Son to die for your sins, then He’s more than capable of bringing you your ANR partner. Trust His timing. God could easily cause an ANR- desiring spouse to appear the moment you open your front door. He has ordained every moment of your life and wants the best for you.
But our unbelief keeps us wanting to play God, and replacing Him with idols.
Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.
2 Corinthians 5:11 - 6:2 NIV
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18, 5:12 NIV
Number 10: Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Galatians 5:16-25 NIV
Number 11: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
Number 12: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heav’n He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God
Number 13: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.
Be very careful who you allow to shape your soul. Joshua Harris, author of the widely popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye and other well-known Christian manuals on dating and purity, has not only divorced his wife, he has also renounced his faith.
I’m especially shocked because I, along with other godly Christians I know, read his books and trusted his godly insights.
I thank God that in recent years, though, especially since founding this blog in 2014, I’ve come to question these insights and have grown out of the unbiblical asceticism and moralism Harris taught.
Thank you, B.H.C. and K.O.K. churches, along with multiple individual Christians, for being some of God’s instruments of breaking me from my legalism. Most importantly, thank you, Holy Spirit for showing me that it’s okay to celebrate my physical desires and desire an ANR, along with deep, enjoyable sexual intimacy in marriage.
Our problem is we rely on our own efforts to achieve purity and holiness rather than the Spirit, so this results in tragedies like Joshua Harris or my former roommate who likely avoided the Song of Solomon because it made him stumble.
Be extremely cautious who you allow to shepherd your heart. Resist legalism and moralism. Discard anything that doesn’t align with God’s word, including his mandate that we have great sex in marriage.
“I think the problem with the Boomers wasn’t that they embraced postmodernism, so much as that they were simply self-absorbed. And the reason people like Joshua Harris who follow a Puritanical form of Christianity lose their faith, is that the object of that kind of religion ultimately turns to self. If I am trying to be holier than God even asked me to be, my worship gets directed toward myself. Jesus warned Pharisees against replacing God’s commands with human commands. And Paul tells us to run the race, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. I believe Satan deceives us into making a small shift where we shift our focus to ourselves, practicing right living, and what we come out with is a dead religion that will fail to protect us. When faced with conservative Christian beliefs arguing with progressive Christian beliefs, I can’t help but think that both sides are missing thr point. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance, it is his love that saves us, and if we love him we learn to love his design. We cannot win hearts with arguments and proofs.”
In our circles, Pastor John, we hear a lot about idols. So what is an idol? Why are they dangerous? And what does an idol look like in today’s world?
Maybe the best way to get at this instead of trying to reach out to the whole Bible and pull all the pieces together — which is not a bad thing to do — let’s just go to one verse, one passage of Scripture, because I think in this verse, in Colossians 3:5–6, the answers to all three questions are there. What is an idol? Why is it dangerous? What do they look like today? So here is the verse: “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.” (Colossians 3:5–6)
“God is jealous that he be honored by being treasured, and he is jealous that we be satisfied by treasuring him.”
So this is the answer to the question “Why are idols dangerous?” — namely, the wrath of God is coming upon idolatry. Nothing is more dangerous than the wrath of an omnipotent, all-righteous God. And Paul says the wrath of God is coming on idolatry. Now why would that be? Listen to Exodus 20: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness or anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God.” (Exodus 20:4–5) The wrath of God comes on the idolater because God is jealous. There is a righteous and holy jealousy and an unrighteous and weak and insecure jealousy. And God’s jealousy is not only righteous — that is, he deserves our deepest and strongest affections and admiration — but it is loving.
It is a loving jealousy, because we were made to find our greatest joy when he is our greatest treasure. He is jealous that he be honored by being treasured, and he is jealous that we be satisfied by treasuring him. So he is jealous in a loving way and he is jealous in a righteous way. And if we find God to be so boring or so negligible that we must put other things in his place that really satisfy us more than he does, then we not only offend him, but we also destroy ourselves. Those two things make God angry. He doesn’t want to be offended and he doesn’t want us to destroy ourselves. Idolatry contradicts both of those things and so his wrath comes upon the idolater. So that is the answer to the first question: Why it is so dangerous?
The other two questions can be taken together, I think, something like this: What is an idol and what does it look like today?
First in the Heart
Paul says, “Covetousness, which is idolatry.” So what idolatry looks like today is the activity of the human heart. This is not a deed of the body. That follows — a fruit on a branch. It starts in the heart: craving, wanting, enjoying, being satisfied by anything that you treasure more than God. That is an idol. Paul calls this covetousness — a disordered love or desire, loving more than God what ought to be loved less than God and only for the sake of God. But covetousness is the condition that this disordered heart is in, an act of loving too much what ought to be loved less. And that is why the wrath of God is coming. That is what idolatry looks like today. And it is everywhere in our culture.
“Idolatry starts in the heart: craving, wanting, enjoying, being satisfied by anything that you treasure more than God.”
So finally: What is an idol? Well, it is the thing. It is the thing loved or the person loved more than God, wanted more than God, desired more than God, treasured more than God, enjoyed more than God. It could be a girlfriend. It could be good grades. It could be the approval of other people. It could be success in business. It could be sexual stimulation. It could be a hobby or a musical group that you are following or a sport or your immaculate yard. I was looking for some yard stuff the other day and I clicked on a video ad for a yard service and three people came on and all of them made the point that this yard service enabled them to brag that they had the best yard in the neighborhood. I thought: What a motivation! I want to be number one in green grass! So that could be an idol. Or your own looks could be an idol. It could be anything.
So Paul puts it like this in Romans 1:25: “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature” — anything that is created — “rather than the Creator.” But there is no wrath for the children of God. And why is that? Because Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 1: “You turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come.” (1 Thessalonians 1:9–10)
So when we turn to Christ from idols we escape the wrath of God because he is for us. God is for us in Christ on the cross.
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John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and most recently Why I Love the Apostle Paul: 30 Reasons.